normally fridays are supposed to be joyful, happy for many people and as i wrote last week, our weekend begins on fridays but this week our weekend was not happy. i’m sure many parents curse last friday and forever will detest it.
the whole weekend my stomach was in knots. i couldn’t stop thinking about the families in Newton, Connecticut, whose weekend has been tainted with sour news in their mouth.
they were in my heart and thoughts but life had to go on.
we did few toy shopping. 
we then went to one of our local outdoor {FREE} ice skating rink for hubby to start practising his ice skating skills. 
we stayed for thirty minutes.
the rest of the day was spent at AOI’s future baby sitter’s party. she turned 11 years old. on our way home i thought about the children of Newton school, maybe there was a child whose birthday was this weekend, now what would they do. would they keep the christmas tree turned on forever because maybe that;s the last thing they helped their parents with – i’m so sad. 
sunday we went to church. we lighted the JOY calendar on the advent calendar but the air was not happy. the children did a little play about the real meaning of christmas. their joyous voices hit us again. the suffering a senseless guy has left in the soul of so many families this weekend.
yes, life went on… until it stood still again for my FAMILY this monday morning!
the phone call came in at 5:56. her mother told in a whisper. i could control myself, i left AOI half asleep on the bed and let go. hubby had to rush to me and ask me what’s going on. the throaty cry and coarse voice told him the devastating news. i threw the phone somewhere among the covers.
was i dreaming? no, the worse news all those parents heard over the weekend fell on us this weekend too. we cried the WHY HER cry!
MY NIECE OF FOUR DIED YESTERDAY. she celebrated her 4th birthday on 30th november, how can this be. we’ve never experience death of a young child in our family as long as i know.
my heart is in 1000trimillion pieces. i don’t know how to cope. Death Sucks. even more so when it come unto young children
I’M IN MOURNING!
we love you so much and sorry if we didn’t show you enough of that love. you leave a BIG space in this life!